Fit For Intimacy Blog
I want to teach my kids—yes, both of them—that their value as human beings has so much to do with how they are showing up in the world, and so little to do with the shape or size of their bodies.
How many of us remember our first kiss?
I believe there is a power that women hold, that is as old as the earth itself, and is never ending.
My kids stink, today anyway. They smell like sweat, dirt, grime; the kind of kid-smell that says they’ve been running hard, playing rough, non-stop all-day-long kind of playing.
My kids and I have a lot of long talks.
I remember the first (and possibly only) time I ever heard my mom swear.
Like so many people I know, my tolerance for emotional distress has been stretched to maximum capacity a number of times throughout my life. And honestly–I’m so grateful…
I’m a mama who shares a lot with my kids. I’ve gone overboard at times.
Each year at this time, I write a letter to my son—a Birthday letter—that he won’t receive until he’s 18.
When a hurricane destroys entire cities, and people are left stranded, we rush to help them rebuild their homes and their sense of security.
Since the moment your child took her first breath, your life changed in a way for which you could never have prepared yourself.
When we give kids choices—no matter how insignificant they feel to us—they provide our little ones with a sense of self-agency, of control of their lives, and of self-efficacy.
For the past two years, I’ve had the opportunity to be a part of a group of Mothers and women bringing together their creative efforts in sharing unique and vulnerable styles of art and expression–Artistic Mamas.
Feeling myself open to the beginning stirrings of this knowledge, as some aspects of our relationship begin to come to a close, hit me full force this evening.
Around 40-something we begin to deny the numbness of our sexual appetites and start seeking something to “fill the gap” of emptiness.
Sitting, year after year with hundreds and hundreds of couples, I experience themes in human behavior that teach me a lot about the differences between people who are able to create beautiful love relationships, and those who struggle, believing that they’re just not “finding the right person,” or that true love is not in the stars for them. My findings are reflected in research on relationships, and like so much that science supports, truth can feel counterintuitive, certainly counter to what feels “natural and normal.”
10 Practices for Healthy Intimacy
In the world of the dead, there's no time. There is no time. Yet every autumn, as the days grow shorter, the spirits of the underworld sense that Persephone must soon return.
The holiday season brings with it some heightened excitement and feelings of togetherness when we share time with family and friends whom we don’t often see. And for many, this same season can bring increased anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and a sense of isolation. Why is this “wonderful time of year” consistently fraught with such significant distress?
In a world where online dating has become the norm, people often feel discouraged by not finding true love, not feeling chemistry once they meet people in person, and disappointed that people's bios don't match who shows up. When I come across articles or memes naming qualities for choosing dating or life partners, I'm often struck by what feels surface level and not based on what actually leads to lasting chemistry and healthy intimacy.
There is value in launching complaints in a relationship, but it's how we approach and how we respond that is most important.
Let's explore six internal shifts that can help nurture conscious love...
Let's uncover the truth and debunk 5 common misconceptions about healthy intimacy...
Research shows that healthy couples fight. Sometimes those fights can even be ugly.
Imagine, for a moment, the shrill excitement of intense play from your childhood. Remember chasing, hiding, laughing; the games, the fantasy, the thrill that would ignite your entire body and have you giddy with laughter and exhilaration.
Grief is not comfortable, for most of us anyway. It’s not something we choose to hang out with much.
Talking to our children about bullying definitely makes it more real, doesn’t it?
Here I sit in my living room. The “Great Room,” actually…. Probably the only home I’ll ever live in that will be grand enough to have a room called a great room!
I was considering this morning what I’m most thankful for, in regard to celebrating Freedom, and had this moment of overwhelming gratefulness to be a woman in the USA.
The following was excerpted from a social media post that crossed my digital path a few days ago, and I highly appreciate it. It’s not insanely profound or life-changing.
It’s surprising, and tragic, how often I hear people working toward relationship health who are seduced by the idea that relationship habits will alter through simple awareness -
The holiday season brings with it some heightened excitement and feelings of togetherness when we share time with family and friends whom we don’t often see.
Sometimes suffering needs a place to find itself—to find it’s way through to wherever it needs to land; without being solved, fixed, or changed.
The hope in every beginning is that “this” feeling—“this” person—“this” love will last beyond what others have known…
Anger can motivate us, move us, inspire, and inform us.
There is some magic about entering this new decade, I believe.
Some of you are reading this title thinking…. Really? Do those go together?
We are built for bonding. There is no doubt.
Lust resides in the world of intense desire, sexual longing, yearning for intimate contact or erotic anticipation…
Listening to experts is always a fascinating experience—I notice myself being enthralled, not always by what they’re saying but by how well they present themselves!
Orgasms. It’s a peculiar word. It’s one of those words that can make some people cringe slightly, just in hearing it.
The significance of this statement, however, is more about the foundation–and ultimate potential–of the core emotional habit and what science claims it represents in a person’s “relationship potential.”
I cannot think of any body part—any physical attribute at all that I’ve not heard women “wishing” were different.
This is a really fun piece choreographed by Alina Fowler, one of the other Afro-Caribe instructors.
Tonight was a sad night, my last to teach in the studio formerly known as Melonlight Dance Studio.
….I don’t really believe that love is wicked!
You’ve all been hearing and reading about Afro-Caribe on my Facebook page, my blog posts, etc, enough to either be thoroughly annoyed or fairly intrigued…
Good news for the women who’ve struggled with the pear-shaped body, the bounty of extra jiggle in their hind quarters…
Moving our bodies, expressively through space—“taking up space”—is a bold and courageous way to be known, to be seen, and to share our inner worlds with others.
Here we go with my little food fling, once again… Into the land of Paleo.
I LOVE having my kids in the kitchen with me.
We all have “emotional eating days, right? So at least if we plan for them…
Okay, so Peach Crisp hardly needs a “Paleo” version, right?
I’ve recently seen a similar salad making it’s way around Pinterest, and wanted to give it a try.
Yes, you read right…. SEA BEANS!
Not a bean. Not seaweed.
As I mentioned in an earlier post (the Chocolate Avocado Brownies recipe), I learned of the diverse uses of avocado in baking and sweet treats on a trip to Maui.
My greens obsession is in full swing! In fact, I’ve finally had time for my garden to begin, and have planted rows and rows of healthy, nourishing greens.
I just can’t get enough kale these days… it’s my new obsession (I fall into those sometimes. Thankfully, they’re all pretty healthy.)
My foray into sweet treats using avocados began a couple of years ago, when we were in Maui and had the opportunity to go to a Luau in Wailea.
I’ve never cooked Vietnamese food but I love it, and was looking for something “fun” to prepare with the kiddos tonight.
Chocolate and I have a bit of a love affair going on, so I’ve been indulging in creative explorations.
This was my first attempt at a Paleo-friendly pancake and they really did turn out perfect, in my book!
I made the following recipe during a study break–I felt like I was so craving the physical practice of nourishing myself.
Yesterday, I picked a few of the beets from my garden, as well as some other greens and herbs, and decided it was time to explore this salad once again!
I’ve given a shot to the popular “Paleo Crunch” snack. And I’m a definite fan! A single handful has filled my belly this morning and it’s just sweet enough to feel like a “treat!”
The dressing that was inspired by a few taste combinations lead to a perfectly paired salad that I can’t seem to get enough of! Here it is…
This recipe is adapted from a Yucatan style Chicken & Orzo soup that my kids and I love.
Visiting my sister and her family in Wisconsin, I was sharing my passion for making salads from a variety of fresh, healthy ingredients that might not normally sound “right” together yet would make a great light Summertime meal.
I love to socialize–love spending time with friends in our home; cooking for them, nourishing their bodies and souls, along with mine.
Pancakes are a fun, Sunday morning tradition for us.
I have a growing LOVE of Salad… all kinds–Veggie Salads, Fruit Salads, Salads with nuts and seeds and all sorts of combinations that feel indulgent and healthy at the same time!
My favorite time of the year to visit Oregon is when my Dad’s peach trees are ready to harvest–his peaches would rival any I’ve tasted.
This is a great meal when you’re looking for something light and healthy but still “hearty!”
The following review is a letter that I received from a client. It is shared here with their permission and encouragement..
I’ve been struggling lately with the term, “expert.” I see a lot of Instagram accounts advertising expertise in areas of relationships, sex, personal growth, spirituality, fitness and nutrition, and even psychedelic-assisted therapies, and I’m struck by some questions.
I am most attracted to those people who don’t always “know,” who are curious and open, and not rigid in their thinking, who may have strong opinions, but also value the opinions of others, who are willing to be taught, to accept influence, to broaden their perspectives, while still holding to what feels most true to them.
My work is a passion for me. I’ve shared openly over the years that based on my own relationship dysfunction, I’ve been motivated to explore the research, delve into the practices, and develop the emotional habits that have been the foundation for those rare people who have the types of relationships that most of us crave.
Politics, to me, look a lot like an intimate relationship–maybe it’s just the lens through which I see… (so many things!)
I’ve been in recovery for almost five years. It’s difficult to say, however, what my recovery is from.
As a mother of two, I’ve realized that I either have to find and nurture MYSELF within the chaos of supporting these developing life forms or completely sacrifice myself to the ever changing needs of my children. I’ve opted for door number one!
I recently had the great fortune of experiencing a lecture of a brilliant minded physician, Dr. Gabor Maté, regarding addiction and it’s far-reaching effects, particularly in current North American culture.
As much as I struggle with the façade of digital openness that tends to masquerade itself as connection, digital transparency is a start.
I made the following recipe during a study break–I felt like I was so craving the physical practice of nourishing myself.
The 40-something guy across the isle from me on our Frontier flight, held on tight to the Daily Milwaukee News, his jaw clenching a straighter than average grin, held together with an angry edge…
I’ve been blessed to have some powerful women who have modeled strength, love, service, humor, and authenticity to me. My 95 year old Nouna (Godmother, in Greek) has been a great example of all these qualities throughout my life.